Californication

Sex and television — they’re two things that pair oddly well together like chilies in chocolate. Once upon a time, the very idea of any character having onscreen sex was enough to make people panic, but now it’s not uncommon to see unbelievably steamy scenes in mainstream dramas and comedies. And in the world of onscreen, televised sex, no one is as impressive as Californication‘s Hank.

Hank entered Season 6 of Californication having slept with 26 different women. Given that each season lasts roughly a year and that Hank definitely added to his final number in Seasons 6 and 7, it feels safe to say Hank has had more onscreen hookups with different people than almost any other TV character. Of course, the only one who can beat him is Sex and the City‘s own Samantha (Kim Cattrall), who clocks in at 41 men and one woman. Here’s your guide to some of Hank’s worst mistakes and most memorable sexual encounters.

1. When Hank Messed Up with Mia

Episode: Season 1, “Pilot”

This was the sex mistake that started it all. Hank had always had a problem with sex, but that problem really came to a head during the show’s first episode when he hooked up with the 16-year-old Mia (Madeline Zima). In all fairness, she did look older. But counterpoint? If you’re ever unsure if you’re committing statutory rape, you should check. Hank’s encounter with Mia haunted him throughout the show’s seven seasons and even led to an in-show book and movie adaptation.

2. When Hank Slept with the Wife of His Boss

Episode: Season 3, “The Apartment”

You should definitely never sleep with your boss’ significant other, especially when you work in the close-knit world of academia. However, Hank was never known for making good decisions. That personality flaw came to a head in Season 3 when Hank had a steamy hook up with the sexually frustrated Felicia (Embeth Davidtz). Of course, there were consequences.

3. When Hank, Charlie, and a Boxer Had a Threeway

Episode: Season 1, “The Devil’s Threesome”

Out of the show’s many sex scenes, this is by far one of the most memorable. Charlie (Evan Handler) is desperate to get laid and convinces Hank to join him and a boxing instructor for an intimate night. However, just when the trainer is squirting on Charlie’s face, both Hank and Charlie’s significant others walked in. You know, just normal, wholesome, family entertainment.

4. When Hank Snorted Coke Off of Trixie’s Butt

Episode: Season 1, “California Sun”

Hank’s many encounters with Trixie (Judy Greer) the call girl weren’t really steamy so much as fun. Trixie was a great character as well as a welcome smiling face in this often gloomy show. However, she makes the list because during one of their first encounters Hank got high in a decidedly intimate way.

5. When Hank and Karen Hooked Up All the Time

Episode: Basically all of them

The main conflict in the center of Californication was always between Hank and the love of his life, Karen (Natascha McElhone). One episode they were breaking the other one’s heart, the next they were back in bed. It was a complicated dynamic that was never helped by Hank’s sex addiction.

6. When Hank Cheated With Another Woman in a Relationship, Kali

Episode: Season 5, “Love Song”

Our boy really has a problem with other people’s SOs and social boundaries in general. There was a lot of sneaking around in Season 5 with this R&B singer. The only problem was Kali’s (Meagan Good) boyfriend, who was played by Wu Tang Clan’s RZA. The duo gave us an awkward plane near-sex scene that still haunts TV to this day.

7. When Hank Hooked Up with Mia’s Double

Episode: Season 4, “Lights. Camera. Asshole.”

The only thing creepier than having sex with an underage girl is writing a movie about said hook up and then having sex with the woman you cast to be said, underage girl. That’s exactly what Hank did with Sasha (Addison Timlin). Why? Because Hank makes bad choices.

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